Adoption Update: August 19, 2019 CARA Approval

Celebratory ice cream at Melt

Last week, Bret decided we needed to take a few days off to enjoy some time with Clara before school begins. Yes, she’s starting kindergarten in mere days. No, I still don’t want to talk about it. So, on Sunday the 18th, we woke up from our after-church-nap, fed the chickens, and packed up the car to stay with my mom and stepdad at the beach for a few days. We awoke late on Monday morning and I glanced at the clock, relieved that most of the morning was already gone. For the past few months, I’ve fallen into a routine of vigilantly staring down the minutes until 10 am. I knew that if we didn’t get a call from our caseworker by then, then we would not be getting one that day. One more day added to the weeks we had been waiting for CARA approval. (29 weeks and 6 days, to be exact, or, nearly 7 months). We slowly emerged into the kitchen, chatted with my parents over coffee, and started to prepare brunch. At 10:19, in the middle of a sizzling batch of bacon, my phone rang. I glanced down at it, saw our caseworker’s name scrawled across the top, stopped breathing, looked at Bret, watched his eyes grow large with understanding as he took in the look on my face. I answered and managed to croak out a feeble “hello.” Toria greeted me and calmly stated, “I have some good news.” She paused for me to respond. I couldn’t respond. She continued and told me the words we’d been waiting so long to hear… “Your family has received approval from CARA.” I dumbly replied with something like “that is good news,” and then had to hand the phone off to Bret having met my capacity for spoken words. Bret finished the unexpected and long awaited phone call with stamina, as I melted into a puddle nearby. We looked at each other, our cheeks wet and round with smiles and both repeated the surreal words, “We have approval!!” The rest of the trip was spent celebrating and grinning and earning a sunburn and sharing the news with our family. We cheered over nachos, then ice cream at our favorite parlor, followed by dinner with a sprinkled cake and toast at my mom’s house. (We kind of like food). It was pretty great!

All this to say, WE FINALLY HAVE CARA APPROVAL!!!! Praise the Lord!! That means that the Indian government has given us initial approval to adopt. This is a really big milestone in the adoption journey. We are now officially allowed to match with a child on the waiting child database!

So what’s next? We’re waiting on our team of awesome caseworkers at Lifeline to present us with a child’s file. This could happen at any moment. Based on our special needs considerations list, the team will reserve a child’s file on our family’s behalf. Once this happens, we have up to 30 days to decide whether we would like to move forward in pursuing this match or if we would like to release the child’s file back to the public waiting child list. Once we have reviewed a child’s file and are ready to move forward in pursuing their adoption, we will sign off on all of their paperwork and apply for NOC (No Objection Certificate).

We’ve been told the matching process is the most emotionally arduous part of the adoption journey. That’s honestly very difficult for us to imagine after this long wait for approval. We are going into this phase with optimism and we are eager to finally “meet” the babe God has planned for our family.

Will you please continue to join us in prayer?

  • Pray for wisdom and discernment as we review files. We’ve chosen to have pictures withheld until after we’ve accepted a file. We don’t know how we could objectively look at a file with a sweet face staring at us. The very idea of “choosing” a child is bizarre to us and difficult to wrap our minds around. How do you make such a choice?
  • Pray for our hearts as we delve into one of the most emotional decisions of our lives.
  • Pray God’s will be done and that whatever happens is to the glory of His name.
  • Pray for financial provision as we near the end. Once we are matched, several large fees are due, but we will finally be eligible to apply for more grants. We only have about $5000 left and we are praying that the Lord will continue to provide through these grants. We are so thankful for His faithfulness in this area, already.
  • Pray for Clara. This wait for “her baby” has been hard on her, too. Please pray for her little eager heart.
  • Keep praying for our unknown child. That they are safe and loved and cared for. They are unknown to us for the moment, but completely known by God. And that brings us such peace and reassurance.

August Book Talk

Happy hottest month of the year!! I usually dread this month, with its scorched grass and blistering temperatures. I feel so keenly the blaring of the sun, always watching like the Eye of Sauron. I’ve already found myself longing for flannel and spiced hot chocolate and crunchy leaves and crackling fires and pumpkins. But I must not let myself fall headlong into such dreams. Autumn is months away. Months away…. No, this August I will relish the remainder of my. last. summer. with my little lamb before she goes off to kindergarten. And speaking of little lambs and learning, this month’s book talk is for them.

When it comes to choosing books for my girl, I am extremely selective in what we read. Books are the first ways that we shape their little characters and I want to be mindful of that as I choose her literature. It’s important to me that the texts she is exposed to challenges her academically and helps her to grow spiritually. The ultimate goal is that she become a lover of words and a lover of the Word. Many Christians, today, are biblically illiterate and struggle to have a desire to read Scripture, let alone understand it. I want to give my children the tools to read, comprehend, and love the Bible. Here are some things we do to encourage a love of reading in our house and ensure she’s receiving good, life-giving instruction from texts:

  • We read all day, everyday- We start each day with God’s Word and end with God’s Word. Every morning, we begin our day with Scripture. For the past few weeks we’ve been focusing on the Ten Commandments. After breakfast, I settle Clara into my lap, wrap her up in a big hug and we read the Ten Commandments together. Later in the day, we will read a picture book or a chapter from her current read. We’re about to finish reading Ella Enchanted. While she’s playing, or if we are running errands in the car, I will put on an audio book for her to listen to. And then at bedtime, she will pick out a picture book for her daddy to read to her followed by the Bible.
  • We read the classics- I prefer classic literature to challenge her and expand her vocabulary. We love to use the Hoopla app through our local library to listen to such books as Winnie the Pooh, Wind in the Willows, The Secret Garden, Chronicles of Narnia, The Princess and the Goblin, Mary Poppins, Paddington, Peter Rabbit, Aesop’s Fables, etc. We also use the Streetlights app to listen to Scripture.
  • We assess themes- I’m diligent in examining the themes of a book before reading it to her. I don’t want her reading books that are contrary to our Christian worldview. There will be a time when she is older and can make this discernment for herself, but for now it’s my responsibility to protect her mind and her heart. Preview books before reading them to your children.

    This is an example of why it is important to preview your kid’s literature. This was found in a collection of classic children’s poems by Robert Louis Stevenson. This is NOT something we want our young children reading. We removed this page from our book.
  • We read poetry- If you want your middle schooler or high schooler to love and understand poetry, expose them while they are young. Shel Silverstein is most American children’s introduction to poetry. And while his poetry is fun and has forever changed the way we think when we see a sidewalk come to an end, it should not be the only poetry our children are exposed to. Read Maya Angelou, Walt Whitman, E.E. Cummings, Gwendolyn Brooks, Edgar Allan Poe, Emily Dickinson, Langston Hughes. A vast portion of the Bible is poetry. I want my children to love and be able to explicate poetry.
  • We read multi-cultural literature- God is not an American. I repeat, God is not an American. In heaven, there will be people from every tribe, language, and nation. And what better way to get to teach our kids about their brothers and sisters in Christ than through literature. Books are mirrors and windows for our children. I make a point to purchase books that represent as many cultures as possible to put into Clara’s library. It’s also important to me to not have a bunch of Bible stories with a white Jesus. Be mindful of this. What we convey to our children about who God is, is important. Kid’s Read Truth is one of our favorite resources for Gospel centered lit. Pro tip: When looking for multi-cultural texts, check to see if the author is from the culture being represented.

    Our Princess loves the books by “Once Upon a World.” The series takes classic fairy tales set in different cultures, and uses illustrators who identify with those cultural backgrounds. 
  • We read books with colorful families- As a transracial family, it is important to us to incorporate books in our kids’ library that “look like us.” We choose books with biracial families and transracial families to show our kids that families come in all shapes and sizes. Some of our favorites are The Hello, Goodbye Window, Guji, Guji, The Simple Life of Ollie & Vern, The Lamb-A-Roo.
  • We snuggle- I always wanted my children to associate reading with love. We are intentional about holding our daughter when we are reading to her, pausing for a big hug every now and then, and proffering several kisses on top of her head before the book is through. Reading time has become the most cherished times in our house. When we tell Clara to get a book, she runs to find one and literally jumps into our laps, or as she calls it, ‘her nest.’ And that’s exactly how I want her to feel, like she’s safe and loved and adored in our arms while we read to her.

Hopefully, this post will encourage you to grab a good book and snuggle up with your kids. It’s one of the most important things you’ll do today.